We’ve heard it all before. Climate Change causes war and famine. Supporters of Climate Change legislation have scared us with all the plagues of Egypt for years, to trying to liberate us from fossil fuels. It’s actually been linked to every Biblical catastrophe, short of a rain of frogs.

So It should come as no big surprise that Discovery News posts this article linking “Climate Change” to wars, political unrest, famine, and generations of humans almost an inch shorter than their ancestors. (That’s a new one actually. Perhaps the oceans aren’t really rising; maybe we’re all just getting a lot shorter.)

But if you read the article a little more closely, you’ll notice something peculiar. The climate change the author is warning about here, isn’t global warming, it’s global cooling. According to the article, scientists writing for the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences have compared historic records of famine and wars, and population, against temperature records. They have found that the cooler the planet gets, the more frequent the wars; during the warm periods, people stop fighting, and go home to make babies. Hence, warming periods coincide with population surges.

For the first time in recent media history, all the calamities listed have occurred when the Earth got colder. Consequently, a warmer climate is actually good for humanity. It’s what I’ve always suspected. Warming is much better than cooling.

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Every man is familiar with that grade school taunt reserved for a woman standing up for herself: “What are you, on your PERIOD?” It is probably one of the worst insults that can be leveled against a woman, so much, that any man using it will assure himself of a easy escape path, before unleashing the verbal equivalent of a nuclear assault.

It leads in to an old tasteless joke that if a woman ever becomes President there will be a war every 28 days. I don’t know a lot about headaches but I do know they can be related to menstrual cycles. (In fact I think a lot of men are well aware of that.)  The recent media led attack on Michele Bachman, is nothing more than a journalistic version of that adolescent taunt.

It plays into a negative stereotype of women, that’s almost as common as a barefooted pregnancy: a hysterical woman on the couch with blinders on her eyes, and a cold compress over her forehead. Migraines are the reason why Victorian parlors had fainting couches.

Rather than spread rumors, journalists should be investigating whether there might be a Federal Crime involved, since the medical information of Americans is subject to confidentiality regulations. Ever since Bill Clinton passed HIPPA, it has been illegal to release the personal information of a Democrat. That’s why we know nothing about the blood pressure of a fifty-year-old African-American; who has affection for beer, cigarettes, and cheeseburgers; and lives with his mother in law.

Personally I think that medical information is important before an election, considering it’s a well known fact that high blood pressure can lead to heart attacks, stroke and worst of all, a Biden Presidency. It is amazing to me that the American Journalists have been able to find this private detail about Michelle Bachmann’s medical records, but we still don’t know whether the President even wrote his own books.

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