“Retracto”
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Credits:
Shelli Eaton- Lead vocals
Michael Broderick – Lead guitar, background vocals
Gary Eaton – Guitar, bass, drums, tambourine, background vocals
Retracto - Vocals
Music and lyrics by Gary Eaton
Retracto
The ass says he doesn’t have a horse in this race
But Retracto knows he does now he’s got egg on his face
The donkeys on the left got owned by a kid
They can say it was a crime but Retracto knows what he did
Retracto
The Correction Alpaca
Retracto
He’s comin’ at ya
The story’s gonna come out whether they like it or not
If they told it like it is they wouldn’t be in this spot
Lyin’ to the people gets a psychotic reaction
But Retracto calls them out now they’re makin’ retractions
Retracto
The Correction Alpaca
Retracto
He’s comin’ at ya
We need the news not projection
Or he’s gonna demand a correction
We need the news not projection
Or he’s gonna demand a correction
Retracto
The Correction Alpaca
Retracto
He’s comin’ at ya
Retracto’s theme song debuted on “The Stage Right Show” last week.






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393 Comments
This is absolutely priceless! Once again, great job Gary, et al !!!!
Great lyrics with a compelling beat and darned well done!
Freaking awesome.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stage_Right: RT @BigJournalism: Introducing: The Retracto, the Correction Alpaca Theme Song http://bit.ly/bQtP53...
Hilarious!
My kids love Retracto!
Do I hear a Grammy in the future???
I can't wait to be called a racist.
Then I'll know I've really made it
Wow! Maybe conservatives can make a dent in the arts scene after all.
you need to figure out how to make a small version of that play anytime a retracto story is opened.
Yeah – I love it!.
Excellent! And if you didn't enjoy Retracto then you are probably a racist homophobe who hates the planet!
heh. I see Charles Johnson didn't land the bass player gig. Expect him to ban you from the innertubes.
I love it!
Gary Eaton, like from the Continental Drifters? Awesome.
I'd give it a 9. It's got a beat and you can dance to it.
I can't stop listening to it! ^_^ It's fantastic!
Yep, I was in the Continental Drifters.
I get it, a song about the 'Watergate Junior' fiasco…
LOL
Retracto has a very nice voice.
Needless to say it takes LOADS of talent to come up with a rockin tune about a quadraped that harkens back to the B-52's…….
Awesome. Now it is stuck in my head. Retractooooooooo!
Thanks man, great tune…got any more?
Gary this is AWESOME! We need tshirts and stuff! Promote Retracto!
Weak. Does the Right have anyone with creativity?
Retracto needs a Facebook page!
What a great song. Love it!
That's my wife of 14 years. She's the bassist in our band, Kingsizemaybe ( bi-partisan, btw ).
Nice Not able to find the Continental Drifters on the internet, any suggestions?
Google it.
That's a great idea.
Yes, yes he does.
Racist. Now you've "arrived."
Yea a little cockpit trouble, found a few things. I am a serious music lover and have been in and out of quite a few bands myself.
I'm looking forward to learning more about the old band, how about now? Any new things in the works if you don't mind my asking?
Do you have any idea how many racists there are out there who are waiting for the memo? These things take time and I'm getting old.
And go on Twitter!
It's got a great beat and is easy to dance to…I give a 95!
Hysterical! Good job.
I kinda think it jammed it straight up the left's ass.
So to speak.
Finally, something useful and productive for Axe and Rahm to do … clean up after Retracto.
I can't believe I'm the first to say this.
NEEDS MORE COWBELL!
Great Song! The truth is psychedelic!
As Rabindranath Tagore says, "The truth comes as conqueror only because we have lost the art of receiving it as guest."
Mighty Truth, mounted on alpacas!
Rabindranath Tagore
I listened to it several more times after watching AB's speech. Wow, it really grows on you. I had to stand up away from my desk for a dances accompanied by the same number of encores!
This is great!
Oh I can just see the two of them picking a stall clean or holding that scoop up while Retracto takes a dump.
I smell a #1 hit.
It figures that a white alpaca would attack our first half black precedent.
It does seem fitting though.
Great job! Catchy tune!
Retracto plush toy, with Kung-Fu quip?
Fantastic!!! Great tune!
Retracto is one "rockin" ALPACA!
domo arigato Mr. Arigato!!
Great alpaca "sound" at the end…
Fargin, Bush, man
I loved it. My 11 year-old-son, who has crazy guitar skills (unlike me) didn't. I am soooooo conflicted.
http://libertyatstake.blogspot.com/
Just F'N Great …. My new ringtone!
That's the best alpaca theme song I've ever heard!
Brilliant!
Liberty, I used to think simple stuff sucked too.
Until I noticed that girls liked music with a backbeat.
How many chicks do you see at a SlipKnot show?
Perfect! And fun to sing along to. Love it.
I'm still conflicted. I like back beat (I think.) Of course I think of back beat as a really good bass player. Would my son know SlipKnot?
He's already on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/retracto
My hat's off to Mr. Broderick, who gets to sing the word "Alpaca" without cracking up. He's a true pro.
Retracto plush, now there's an idea!
Retracto, I think I LOVE you! :>)
LOVE IT!!!
We should link this at every post at huffpo 'n Media Mutters.
double freaking awesome
Kind of reminds me of Matthew Sweet. Great stuff. Sell it on iTunes!
That would be fun to hear, too!
This is made of so much win and rainbows and sparkles and all the epic stuff in the world. Eaton, you win 1,000,000 internets.
Where can I download it?
Wow, first “Fear the Boom and Bust” a Hayek vs. Keynes Rap Anthem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0nERTFo-Sk, now Retracto bursts into song!
Retake the culture and media with music! Take that Alinsky!
Do Senior Fellows at Media Splatters have theme songs?
Enough said.
I love this Gary, Shelli and Michael….yall just rock!!
I predict that Retracto will triumph over his arch-nemesis, Redacto, the Obfuscation Jackass-'a.
What took you so long?
I love it! One suggestion:
"We need the news not projection"
changes to
"We need the news not invention"
Love it. Rocks!
Shall we toast a great song with an appletini? Hahahahaha!
Fabulous!
[...] Here. [...]
yeah, it has a good beat and you can dance to it… but why does it remind me of the 'musical masterpieces' by those westboro baptist church loonies ?
My current band's called Kingsizemaybe. As I said above, we're bi-partisan.
Outakes remix?
Retracto took the tapes. Freekin prima donna
Because you're projecting
Believe me, the first few takes were touch and go.
You evil bastard
Pretty catchy!
Hahahahahahahaha. Nice!!!!
You, my friend ,know your music.There is a bit of that in there.
I'm a big fan of Matthew Sweet
Do alpacas come in black?
Love the song can you make the download available?????????? I would love to blare this for the libs on a huge concert line array system when I program my next light show.
Hey, cool!
I've been doing my part to spread the word about Retracto!
Gotta get me a copy for my music library!
I have to listen to this song at least once a day! Good Job Gary!
Evil and proud. But I have to admit this would get their goat for sure.
As I have some knowledge of alpacas, I especially appreciated the mix of Retracto's "vocals". Perhaps you could capture the sounds of our media "watchdog", or watch mascot, spitting some of that green bile of his at at the "journalists" who use the media to promote their own warped narrative. Thank you, and welcome Retracto!
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6097493/
Dude. That was awesome.
Wilson v. Deferens: Teabagging HOMO
This tune rocks! Now I want a theme song.
LOVE IT!!!!
Yes, now I've got that song stuck in my head!
[...] Sing along here. [...]
We SOOO need a conservative music album. Not bad.
Retracto rocks!!
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