larry-king

Who should replace Larry King? Wow, the question of the decade right there!

The excitement is mounting in CNN Land these days as we ponder who should replace the legendary broadcaster who many say actually left his show years ago.

My first thoughts are either Joy Behar (she could just move across the hall from Headline News) or Michael Moore. It seems like they are on the show almost as often as Larry himself, so it would make the transition for the sensitive viewers much easier. They may not even know there has been a change.

Ahhhh, but before we put Larry to pasture I think of the great moments in Larry King history.

The night he called Andre Agassi “Pancho Gonzales.” Andre was sitting right there next to Larry and Pancho had actually been dead for more than ten years at the time. I was watching the interview live, the look on Andre’s face was priceless.Pancho

Now, Pancho had trained Andre when he was a youngster back when he was a head pro at Caesars Palace, but Larry didn’t know that. The interview got better when Larry asked Andre how Brooke was doing. Andre and Brooke Shields had been divorced for years at the time and it was not a pleasant divorce. Somebody must not have prepared the boss for this interview. “Larry—don’t bring up Brooke,” would’ve been a nice thing to mention before the show. What the heck—when you’re the King of Pop Culture nothin’ gets past ya.

A few days later, I saw Andre and asked him about the King interview—he was respectful, but you could tell that he was confused by what was going on that night. Anybody on TV this long has had his bad nights—certainly I have—but I’m not sure Larry even knew he had a bad night.

I will miss hearing the stories about Larry and Sandy Koufax. King talks often about growing up as a kid in Brooklyn and hanging out with Koufax. Sandy says they never knew each other as kids and Larry is making the story up. Oh well.

Okay, enough about Larry Legend, let’s figure out who can fill those massive suspenders. Let’s start with Wolf Blitzer.

President Obama already called Larry, “Wolf” recently so perhaps Blitzer is the right person to replace Larry. The Dear Leader has spoken—he does not make gaffes, so perhaps Obama was just being his prophetic self.


Eliot Spitzer (Client #9) would be a great choice, I’m sure he has great broadcasting skills, but CNN would never hire somebody who has admitted to buying hookers while working as governor of New York.

Helen Thomas is available and the CNN politics would remain the same, plus she would insure that the geriatric audience stays on board (or should I say Ensure?).

The so-called “serious” candidates would fit right in with my joke candidates. Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and the nice bloke who judges people on “Americans Think They Have Talent,” or whatever the name of that show is. Ya, Seacrest. My lineup of reindeers named Blitzer, Spitzer and Thomas are just as credible.

The options are limitless. Who is worthy of replacing a Leftist Legend? I will give one serious choice here that will never happen. Never happen.

Dennis-Miller

Dennis Miller. He is simply the best interviewer out there right now. Nobody is more entertaining and engaging as an interviewer. I listen to his show religiously and subscribe to his podcasts in case I miss a moment. It’s not even close. Nobody is better at knowing more subjects and getting the most out of his guest.

If CNN wants the best, they call Miller—of course, Dennis is already doing well on Fox right now and that network actually gets ratings, so why would he want to disappear on CNN? Plus, Miller’s politics won’t fit, but if CNN wants to stop wasting that hour in prime time, they try to convince Miller to come down from the hills of Santa Barbara and do the show. Ratings would go through the roof — but as I have said often about the media –“agenda is much more important than success.” Repeat that a few times in the James Earl Jones voice… it could be the CNN motto.