We finally have proof that life exists beyond the confines of planet earth, although not necessarily intelligent life. How else can one explain Joe Biden other than to postulate that he comes from another planet, if not an alternate universe? The Vice President’s stunning observation about Iraq last certainly defied any form of earthly logic:

“I am very optimistic about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration.”

Of which administration? Of the administration led by the fellow who, as the junior Senator from Illinois, opposed the surge that turned the war around? That administration? Let us time travel back to 2007, when then-Senator Barack Obama offered his sage opinion about the surge:

We can send 15,000 more troops, 20,000 more troops, 30,000 more troops – I don’t know any expert on the region or any military officer that I’ve spoken to privately that believes that is going to make a substantial difference on the situation on the ground.


For his part, Biden not only joined Obama in opposing the surge on the floor of the Senate, he did him one better. Joe’s 2006 proposal to partition Iraq into three regions deeply offended most Iraqis and played on fears that the oil-rich northern and southern portions of the country would leave the Sunni-dominated center to whither on the vine. If anything, Biden was responsible for making the war harder to win by inflaming the Sunnis with his goofy plan. Perhaps White House press secretary Robert Gibbs had the partition plan in mind when he tried to explain away Biden’s remarks:

Well, putting what was broken back together and getting our troops home, which we intend to do in August of this year.

Obama

That’s great Bob, but the fact is that, thanks to the previous administration and despite the best efforts of the guys now leading yours, no one needed to be put anything back together. Oh, and Bob: that troop withdrawal coming in August? That’s part of a deal that the previous administration worked out the Iraqi government as well.

Biden’s attempt to give the Obama administration credit for victory in Iraq is reminiscent of breakfast cereal commercials from a few decades ago. The camera would show a bowl of some sugary glop, flanked by a glass of orange juice, pitcher of milk, plate of toast and few strips of bacon while the announcer assured viewers that the cereal he was pitching was “part of a complete breakfast.” In reality, the cereal was merely in the vicinity of a complete breakfast. Similarly, the only thing that the Obama administration has accomplished in Iraq is to be fortunate enough to be in the vicinity of victory.

Of course the Vice President was merely following the philosophical lead of his boss: say anything you want to say, because most people aren’t going to remember anything that happened more than 72 hours ago. For example, after declaring in no uncertain terms that the surge could not work back in 2007, candidate Obama had this to say in 2008:

I had no doubt and I said at the time when I opposed the surge that given how wonderfully our troops perform that if we place 30,000 more troops in there then we would see an improvement in the security situation and we would see a reduction in the violence.

Following that backflip, candidate Obama quietly removed criticism of the surge from his website in July 2008. So here we are. The surge that Senator Obama knew couldn’t work, turned into the surge that Senator Obama was sure would work and now – with victory at hand – that surge has miraculously led us to one of the greatest achievements of the Obama administration. Hallelujah! It doesn’t get much more surreal than that. In reality, the only thing that this administration has accomplished in Iraq in managing not to screw up what the military and George W. Bush had put into place. Sadly, given the Obama administration’s propensity for making existing problems worse – when they’re not actually creating brand new ones – finding something that Obama has been unable to screw up may indeed be the high-water mark of his Presidency.